Love is one of life’s funny paradoxes. Everyone wants to be in love even though logic would probably advise against it. In a purely economic sense, that is the measuring utility or happiness, being in love is probably inefficient.
The Economics:
***It is important to note that these observations only hold true under the assumption of ceteris paribus that is “all things being equal.” Therefore, I restrain from taking into account the many different religious views of love where simply loving your neighbor should give you sufficient happiness. In the current model, I am using man as if he is in some very unrealistic testing facility to try to simplify this complex working of human social interactions.***
Let’s look at a simple supply and demand curve, which is a basic model for all economic theories. On the y-axis we have our Price of our good which is how much love you give to the world. On the x-axis is the Quantity which is how much love you receive.
Our personal demand curve for love is downward sloping. The downward slope shows that we would all like to be loved with none or very small amount of work like when people want love at first sight. However, we know that this is all very nice in principle, but it is not very practical. Love takes work: as the old saying goes “You have to give love to get love.” At first demand for love is pretty inelastic. Elasticity means you still want a constant amount even though the price increases. But as you have to give more and more, the less you are going to want it. For example, many people would not go as far as to kill off the enemies of their beloved just to gain approval. That is too extreme of a sign of devotion.
Following the demand curve, comes the supply curve. Our supply curve is upward sloping which shows that people would rather give the most of their love if they are receiving love in return. For example, if no one is nice to you, you are less apt to be nice to others. Conversely, if everyone is nice to you, you would be more apt to be nice to them. This is just human nature.
Let us also assume that the more love you receive the happier you are and you are better off for it. Therefore, if you are supplying a large quantity of love and your actions and sentiments are not being returned in at least the same amount of you supply, then your loving of that person is irrational and inefficient because you are not maximizing your utility. Just as a reference, you maximize utility where your supply and demand curves intersect. That point is called the equilibrium point.
The Life Application:
Most of the time love gives you heartache. Heartache does not pertain to simply romantic love, which the Greeks named eros, but also philos, brotherly love between family and friends. How often do your friends and family give you anxiety because you are concerned for their wellbeing or because you wish to be in their good graces after an argument? Your worry and concern shows your output of love. If your loved one doesn’t seem to care then it would appear as though they are not giving you the same amount of love. Yet, we still go on loving even though those we love can make our lives miserable.
As for romantic love, it lends itself to more pining, angst, and less utility than its sister philos. For those of you who have experiences unrequited love, why is it that the person you love never seems to share the mutual affection? Additionally, for the one person who does like you, why don’t you have interest toward that person? Seriously, why does love always seem to form a sordid love triangle that continues on and on in a vicious cycle which has no end in sight? No one in this situation is maximizing and giving their love in the most efficient way possible.
Eventually, some escape and find the elusive “one” who is the second half of their soul and the two half souls are united ad they become a whole soul. The infamous “they” inform us that in this love there is true happiness which makes all the waiting, heartache, and strife worth it. Apparently, that love is so highly valued and potent that the utility, happiness, is like no other. I sure hope it is, because I’m one of many people still waiting for love and that elusive Prince Charming, whose lateness has definitely exceeded fashionable and has now moved on to rude.
But I digress…
In spite of all of these problems why would we rational people still willingly opt to drive ourselves crazy in the pursuit of love? To this question I can postulate only one logical answer: True love must truly be greater than all of the pains of getting to it. For eros, the cost of finding that perfect person is worth the love they end up receiving in return. For philos, the companionship and friendship must be worth more than the angst to justify its being efficient. This is the reason why we keep on loving.
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