A thought occurred to me a few nights ago while I was in the shower, which is not entirely out of character since I get my best ideas in bathrooms (go figure). I was thinking about Valentine's Day and how depressing it is to be single on that day. Don't misunderstand me: I enjoy hanging out with my single friends, but you know that if you're single in the back of your mind there is that little grating voice that says, "Gee, we'd be way happier right now if we had a date."
You then have a little rhetorical conversation with the little grating voice, which probably goes a little something like:
---"Well, yeah, maybe we would be happier...BUT we don't and we're okay with that."
---"Are you sure we're okay with that? And why is it that we never have a date."
---"Umm...well...we've had a date before, remember?"
---"Of course, I remember! But you remember how that turned out for us, don't you."
---"Please, no need to remind me."
---"Okay, then allow me to clarify my original question: Why don't we ever have an enjoyable date with a decent man? Why are all the messed-up, emotionally unstable guys ALWAYS attracted to us?"
---"Hmmm...a good question indeed..."
Naturally, that last question had me asking more questions and got me thinking, as a lathered up my loofah. One of the questions that germinated into greater contemplation was "Where is my happy ending and that white knight who's supposed to sweep me off my feet, bring me to his castle, and make me queen of his kingdom?" What the hell is holding him up?
And then, I stumbled upon the answer. It lay in almost every "Happily Ever After" story I had heard. The whole princess in the tower and white knight thing might not be as far-fetched as the pragmatist in me would like me to believe. As a metaphor, I find that the elements can be translated into symbols of situations in the real world.
Like the proverbial princess and knight, I'd like to assume that my future beloved and I are on a crash course, guided by fate, into each other's arms. However, as in every fairy tale, there are obstacles which hinder the inevitable rendezvous, such as ogres, dragons, witches, evil extended family members, tall towers, etc. In the real world, these antagonists are the psychos and jerks we date, the work obsessed society in which we live, and the other disillusions that lead us astray.
In a way, the belonged and belabored path to love reminds me of Homer's epic, The Odyssey. I'm not going to lie, I can relate to Penelope, Odysseus' wife. She chastely and loyally waits for her husband to return while she fends off a horde of cads, rakes, and degenerates. Her position as queen prohibits her from leaving Ithaca to search for he lost husband, much like me when I'm stuck creating my career, too busy to search for a potential date. I'd imagine she also had to suffer loneliness while keeping her vigil, making her wait ever harder to bear.
And where is Odysseus while Penelope waits? Well, like the white knight of medieval tales, Odysseus had some modest success in military pursuits and is weigh-laid on his way to Penelope, having to confront many obstacles. Such obstacles include passive-aggressive gods, men-eating cyclops with an alcohol problem, and a few sluts namely, Calypso and that witch he hooks-up with on that island (I forget her name).
As a side note and minor digression, if Odysseus loves Penelope so much why does he sleep around with so many women on his way back to Ithaca? This always seemed like a character inconsistency to me. If he is such a great guy, wouldn't he remain faithful to his wife? However, I guess his dalliances can be blamed on the fact that each time he committed an infraction he was somehow bewitched and didn't really know what he was doing. Yet another obstacle found in the path to many a relationship. I suppose modern men wish they could legitimately use Odysseus' excuse, but that is a topic I'd rather not get into at this moment.
Anyway, after escaping Calypso, he eventually arrives on the shores of Ithaca (20 years late, mind you, but who's counting), kicks some major ass, and rescues Penelope. And thus begins their happily ever after.
Okay, so what is the lesson we can learn from the tales of the princess and the knight and of Penelope and Odysseus? Well, until Mr. Right battles his way too me, my relationships look pretty grim; I'll meet plenty of toads and jerks, and probably have a few heartbreaks. BUT when he finally arrives (it most likely is going to take a while) all wrongs will be righted and I'll have my happily ever after. Until then I just have to be strong and know that eventually there will be an end and one day I will have a date on Valentine's Day.
